I've been thinking a lot lately about how I'm going to feel at the start of the Beach2Battleship. And sometimes I think that I might just find myself stuck at the start. Hanging with my homies until MFTLP finishes the race.
I haven't felt like this in the run races or the bike rides I've done. And, I don't remember this feeling doing the two triathlons I've done.
I remember the Pacific Grove olympic distance and how I felt standing there getting ready to get in the 57 degree water in Monterey Bay in a wetsuit and swimming for not-quite-a-mile. I was scared! The water was too cold and the distance was too long and the kelp was too, well, kelpy. I don't know that I ever thought I wouldn't actually get in the water and do the race though.
The fact that I have had these thoughts about not actually starting the race because I don't think I can do it is a new thing for me. There are at least 2 things that make this race seem way more doable than the other 2 triathlons I've done: (1) the water will be warmer (than Pacific Grove) and cleaner (than the lake in Hendersonville); (2) there will be no kelp. The distance is longer but I know that I can do the distance. I've already done the distance several times in training (just recently even - this past Monday). While I'm not fast, I get to the end.
Other random thoughts:
I'm looking forward to the bike so I can relax a little bit. Um - I think there's something wrong with that kind of thinking but I can't quite place my finger on it. Hmm. Oh wait - it's that riding a bike 56 miles in between swimming 1.25 miles and then running 13.1 miles is not exactly relaxing. But, with the way my head is working lately, it seems like the bike is going to be the "easy" part.
I'm worried that I can't sustain that kind of effort for 8 or 9 hours - even if I'm slow. I'm worried about the swim. I'm worried that my nutrition is going to suck and I'm going to seriously BONK. But, I think that's a 'normal' worry. I know that I'm learning more and more about nutrition. I experienced a serious boost in energy during a 10 mile run a couple of weeks ago. It was amazing how much taking a Gu helped!
Other times I think that I'm going to glide through the day and enjoy the fantastic experience of doing this race. That the experience of doing this half-iron will totally wash over me and through me and I'll 'enjoy' the day. That I'll be totally present at every moment. That, even though it will be hard physically, mentally it'll be easy.
Had a crappy run today so who knows what to expect.